Oak Tree

My thoughts turn to something I read once, something the Zen Buddhists believe. They say that an oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously there is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which grows into the tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is another force operating here as well--the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being, drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity. In this respect, say the Zens, it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born.

I think about the woman I have become lately, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be this person and live this life, liberated from the farce of pretending to be anyone other than myself. I think of everything I endured before getting here and wonder if it was me--I mean, this happy and balanced me, who is now dozing on the deck of this small Indonesian fishing boat--who pulled the other, younger, more confused and more struggling me forward during all those hard years. The younger me was the acorn full of potential, but it was the older me, the already-existent oak, who was saying the whole time: "Yes-grow! Change! Evolve! Come and meet me here, where I already exist in wholeness and maturity! I need you to grow into me!" And maybe it was this present and fully actualized me who was hovering four years ago over that young married sobbing girl on the bathroom floor, and maybe it was this me who whispered lovingly into that desperate girl's ear, "Go back to bed, Liz..." Knowing already that everything would be OK, that everything would eventually bring us together here. Right here, right to this moment. Where I was always waiting in peace and contentment, always waiting for her to arrive and join me.

Eat, Pray, Love
Elizabeth Gilbert

Intensive Intermediate Spanish

This was an intensive intermediate level Spanish course which packed an entire year of Spanish into 5 weeks. We met Monday-Friday from 9am-12pm. It was difficult but truly I can say I learned a lot. I hope next summer I can spend my May, June, July, and August in a Spanish speaking country. In this way I will be able to practice speaking the language.

Querido México,

Podrías preparar la comida para consumir.

Podrías preparar la comida para que alguien te ame.

Y tu podrías preparar la comida para los Dioses.

Entonces, la acción será lo mismo. Físicamente.

Pero adentro lo será diferente.

Fatima's Mussels

I live in Amherst, Massachusetts and sometimes that drives me absolutely insane. It's about 2.5 hours too close to where I grew up, the winters are cold and isolating, and there are too many people living the Trustafarian lifestyle.

With that said, there are equally quite a few things about this town that I like so much. For starters, I love my apartment. It was once an old farmhouse which was later converted into a 3 unit apartment building. My walls and doors and floors are all crooked and the wood is splintered and unfinished but it gives the place character. I have beautiful windows with lots of sunshine and the best little kitchen. I am also allowed to have my little dog here!

I think I could make the best of a summer anywhere and really its not a difficult thing to do here. There are really beautiful rivers and places to hike or ride your bike. Today I went for a long bike ride with my camera to try to shoot what life looks like where I live. I passed some farmland, an ice cream shop, flowers, a river, hills, and an old rusty bridge. I came home and made some mussels using a recipe my friend Fatima taught the last time I visited her, back when she lived in Arizona.

Octopus

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.

-Walt Whitman

Artichoke

Farmers' Market

Saturday at the Amherst Farmers' Market I bought some sour dough bread, a giant heirloom tomato, some serrano chiles, garlic, zucchini, cheese, olives, and fresh cut flowers. After I rode my bike to the cinema to watch Angelina Jolie kick ass in Salt, checked out the travel books on Brazil at Barnes & Nobel, and then came home to prepare a delicious meal. Good day Saturday.

Flowerhorn